Always drink upstream from the herd.
WILL ROGERSBe thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
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I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
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Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
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You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.
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The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
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It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
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The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
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Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
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We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
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I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
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If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
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All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
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You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
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The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
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You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
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Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.
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If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
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Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
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