Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
WILL ROGERSAn onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
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No man is great if he thinks he is.
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All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
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Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.
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When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
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I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
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People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
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The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
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A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
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You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
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We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
WILL ROGERS