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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.

Bob Hope

Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Japan
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE

Book Funny Reading
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE

Country Good Line Look One
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE

Age Country Middle People Weightlifting
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE

Average Funny Humorous
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
BOB HOPE

Before Draw Engage Money Only Trouble
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Numeral Roman
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE

Doors Even Garage Love Makin Next
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE

Although Beautiful Girl Lucky Over Thing Whole

You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.

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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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