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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.

Bob Hope

I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE

Days Line One These Watches
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
BOB HOPE

Boxing Canvas Funny Sports
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
BOB HOPE

Doctors Funny Heart Operating Table
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Successful
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE

Golf Paramedic Play Trying

It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.

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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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