I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPEOne of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
More Bob Hope Quotes
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If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
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I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
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We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
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The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
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I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
BOB HOPE