Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
BILL BAILEYYes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, “Hullo, we’re out of milk. I say mother, where’s the milk?”
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that’s undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
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But our country’s equivalent of gritty reality is more like “Look out Sarge, he’s got a shooter!”
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There’s more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
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I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says “Why the long face?”. The horse replies: “I’m deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.”
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Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
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There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
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I’m English, and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
BILL BAILEY