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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.

Bob Hope

I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE

Aspirin Firm Print Times
I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
BOB HOPE

Golf Swimming Work Out
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPE

Get Golf Names Vain
I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Pointed Rip
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE

Although Beautiful Girl Lucky Over Thing Whole
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Inspirational Sports
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE

Four Girl Lives Sheltered
Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One

A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.

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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.

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Popular Authors

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