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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

Bob Hope

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
BOB HOPE

Christmas Holiday Old Fashioned Xmas
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
BOB HOPE

Agents Lying Typical
Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
BOB HOPE

Frozen Guy People
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Night Reason Same
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Wounded
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE

Heart Humor Laughter
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Kids Wonderful

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

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Popular Authors

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes