A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPEKissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I have too much money invested in sweaters.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
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A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
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England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
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It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
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I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
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It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
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Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
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There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
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It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
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Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
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I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
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I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
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Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE