“Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.”

She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.

Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.

I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.

Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.

Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.

I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”

I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.

You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I just hitch up my girdle and let ‘er fly.

I’m not very good at practice. But if you tell yourself you love the hole and love hitting it on the fairway, it’s a big difference.

As if we don’t have enough volence on television. After her husband accidentally hit two spectators with golf balls during a celebrity golf tournament.

I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.

You know when there’s a star, like in show business, the star has her name in lights on the marquee! Right? And the star gets themoney because the people come to see the star, right? Well, I’m the star, and all of you are in the chorus.

I can beat any two players in this tournament by myself. If I need any help, I’ll let you know.

Golf is an ideal diversion, but a ruinous disease.

They say golf came easy to me because I was a good athlete, but there’s not any girl on the LPGA Tour who worked near as hard as I did in golf. It’s the toughest game I ever tackled.