“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.

The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.

Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.

I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.

I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along – but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.

self-pity is better than none.

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?

I’m the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.

You have the nicest window, you know? None of the others can even compete. It´s not flashy like the others, or bleary – your window gives of this nice, quiet light.

Why is anthony amowitz using his pimp smile on you? Youre only calling him a pimp because hes here. At marcies. Yeah, so? Hes being nice. I elbowed her. Smile back. Being nice? Hes being horny.

It’s nice to keep in touch – besides, it’s the only place in London where you can park a car.

I’ve got a nice collection of paintings – a Basquiat, a black-and-white Warhol that’s like a Rorschach test, and I commissioned Takashi Murakami to do a ten-foot joint for me. It’s almost like the explosion in Hiroshima with his famous skeleton head. There’s a wall above my fireplace reserved for it.

If someone gives me a to-do list, I say ‘thank you, this is nice.’ One needs things to throw in the wastebasket.

Being nice? Hes being horny.

Nice costume,” he said. “ditto. I can tell you put a lot of thought into yours.” amusement curled his mouth. “if you don’t like it, i can take it off.

Nice costume,” he said. “ditto. I can tell you put alot of though into yours.” amusement curled his mouth. “if you don’t like it, i can take it off.” i tapped my chin thoughtfully. “that just might be the best proposal i’ve had all night.” “my offers are always the best, angel.