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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

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Bed Fight Go never Stay Up

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Blood Discontinue Know Type
This woman goes into a gun shop and says, ‘I want to buy a gun for my husband.’ The clerk says, ‘Did he tell you what kind of gun?’ ‘No,’ she replied. ‘He doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Buy Get Gun Husbvband Into No Reply Say Shop Women
When you play spin the bottle, if they don’t want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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Bottle Kiss Play Quater Spin Want
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
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Age Back Do Go More Than
I’m the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.
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Central Crime Night Only Park Reduce Trade Walk Woman
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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Comedy Revisited Tragedy
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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Admit Away Boyfriend Drive Forty Live Mile Sex Tremendous
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
PHYLLIS DILLER

Humble Keep Know Mirror
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies!’
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Come Enemy Geet House Mess Really Strange Win
The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.
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Body Doctor Hope Look Reincarnation Said Yes
I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
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Beauty Came Constant Country Hit Last Mouth Once People Person
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
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Before Clean Grow House Kid Shovel Snow Stop Up
I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.
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Bury Clear Dead Dinner Food Phase Serve Table Three
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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Ask Country Football Good Hairdresser Helmet Look People Person Say
I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
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Descend Foolish Listen Long Mother Very
We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Accused Constant Country Drought Fire Food Mud Swanson

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