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A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.

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Again Happen Last Night Nothing Terrible Thing

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.
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Chocolate Dirt Like Serve Show
When I go to the beach, even the tide won’t come in.
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I don’t know how you feel about old age… but in my case I didn’t even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.
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They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!
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I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
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If my jeans could talk, they’d plead for mercy.
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
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Age Glove Love Old Sport Through
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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Admit Away Boyfriend Drive Forty Live Mile Sex Tremendous
It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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Bed Course Fang Gone Mad Month Three True Was Year
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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Humble Keep Know Mirror
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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Christmas Everybody Forgotten Past Present Remember Time Want
I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing.
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Anybody Behind Doing Eighteen Iron Know Now Use Year
You’ve got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It’s when somebody steps on the bride’s train, or belches during the ceremony that you’ve got comedy!
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Beautiful Bribe Comedy Everything Goes Got Realize Somebody Step Train
Doctors say it’s okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.
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After Ambulance Attack Close Doctor Door Heart Okay Provide
I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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Beauty Day Fourteen Give never Plan Ten Up Year

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