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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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All Bad Country Cut Hair Know People Run Taxicab Too
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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Came Down Everything Goes Time Up When
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Be Know Learn Quick Wise
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Down Finally First Forget Name Net Pull Zipper
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Act Fake God Honesty Inside
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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Down Else Get Stoop While Wonder
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Aur Change Clean Dirty Hard Remember These Used
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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Age Cigar Holder Just Now Put Thrill
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Better Failure Hate Honesty Something Success
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
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Ask Avoid Important Longevity Most Say Single Tension
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Fake Got Honest That Trouble
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Drink Drunk Fourteenth Remember Take Thirteen Trouble
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
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Anywhere Eight Good Here Ninty
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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Age Die Few Got Hundred Made One Past People Very
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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Boy Dead Only Sea Sick
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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Access Failure Hate Rather Something

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