Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNSI would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
More George Burns Quotes
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS






