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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Around Came Carry Father Picture Wallet

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I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
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