Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
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With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD