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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Dog Drink Glass Kiss Lip Married Stay Tough Wife

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Family Found Look Nap Tree Was
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Around Came Carry Father Picture Wallet
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

All Life Pick Pocket Sex
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Attack Control Girl Last Myself Night Save
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Interrupt Spoken Wife Year
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fight Full Hope Man Reform Seventy Still Twenty Want
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Already Always Eye Garbage Keep Me Rid She Told Try Wife
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Crazy Opinion Psychiatrist Said Second
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Being Do Draw Men Most Thing Told Wage
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Dog Family Found Look Three Tree
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Ask How Big People Pet Store Work
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Another Come Day Girl Home Nobody Over Phone
My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

All Antier Chocolate Cook Got Mae Mouse Stuck Throat Wife
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Calendar Day Get Jealous Look May Other Ridiculous Want Wife
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Always Found Kid Move Parent
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Cheat Good Goodness Kid Look Me Wife

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