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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Born Doctor Mother Slap Ugly

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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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Fed Me Mother Shot Sing So Ugly Use
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Born I Morning Mother Sickness
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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Everything Marriage Room Sepaetae Sleep Together Vacation
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Around Came Carry Father Picture Wallet
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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Arm Bone Dog Favorite My
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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Broke Game Hockey Night Other Out Went
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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Afraid Dark Light Me Naked Saw Wife
I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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Come Drink Go Juice Prune Take Viagra
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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Bath Hate Parent Radio Toast Toy

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