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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Born Doctor Mother Slap Ugly

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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
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I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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