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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Attack Control Girl Last Myself Night Save

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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Breast Fed Friend Like Me Mover never Only She Told
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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All Life Pick Pocket Sex
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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Dog Family Found Look Three Tree
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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Family Found Look Nap Tree Was
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
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Interrupt Spoken Wife Year
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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Fed Me Mother Shot Sing So Ugly Use
I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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Age Food Kitchen Life Mirror Over Tab Taken
Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
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Bartender Beat God Make Me Ugly Yeah Zombie
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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Bartender Plumber Psychiatrist See Seen Told Truth Wife
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Attack Control Girl Last Myself Night Save
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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Fat Found Look One Only Out People Way
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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Ask How Big People Pet Store Work
With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
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Birthday Ever Had Join Respect Toast Water Wife Women
Life is just a bowl of pits.
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Bowl Just Life Pit
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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Around Came Carry Father Picture Wallet
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Born I Morning Mother Sickness

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