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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Attack Control Girl Last Myself Night Save

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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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Dog Drink Glass Kiss Lip Married Stay Tough Wife
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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Breast Fed Friend Like Me Mover never Only She Told
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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Back Car Drive Want Wife
With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
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Birthday Ever Had Join Respect Toast Water Wife Women
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Come Drink Go Juice Prune Take Viagra
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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Frink Last Much Olive Sample Time Too
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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Brown Dentist Go Teeth Tie Told Wear Yellow
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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Afraid Dark Light Me Naked Saw Wife
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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Ben Big Clock Country Cousin Find Gay
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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Calendar Day Get Jealous Look May Other Ridiculous Want Wife
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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Cheat Good Goodness Kid Look Me Wife

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