We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDI looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Life is just a bowl of pits.
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My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD