Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KINGSome would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KINGMarriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
ALAN KINGLet’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
ALAN KINGI had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KINGThe other day my house caught fire.
ALAN KINGYou do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KINGIf you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KINGWe get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
ALAN KINGIt’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
ALAN KINGVillains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
ALAN KINGWhen I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KINGThe ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
ALAN KINGAnd humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
ALAN KINGMy mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
ALAN KINGAs a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KINGMy brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING