We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
ALAN KINGWhen I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
More Alan King Quotes
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
ALAN KING






