If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KINGNow that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
More Alan King Quotes
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I was a high school throw-out.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
ALAN KING






