I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KINGThere’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
More Alan King Quotes
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
ALAN KING