I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
ADAM CAROLLAThere’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
ADAM CAROLLA






