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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’

Adam Carolla

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
ADAM CAROLLA

Building Car Life Some Working Wrenching
I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLA

Democrat Democratic Republican Used
When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
ADAM CAROLLA

Insane Mean Million People Smartest Vote
I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ambivalent Camera Cat Enough People Semi
I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
ADAM CAROLLA

Crazy Funny House Lonely Ratio Roof Someone Talk
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
ADAM CAROLLA

Experience Horrible Job Learned Mean
If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
ADAM CAROLLA

Backyard Blond Country Evil Gardner Harder Kibble Lob Molly More
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
ADAM CAROLLA

Fake Funny Humor None Orgasm Two Type Women
I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
ADAM CAROLLA

Biggest Coffee Soccer Soft Thinking Whatever World
Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
ADAM CAROLLA

Any Form Over Shape Taking Talk Way Weird
I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Attempted Comedy Good Stand Up Very
If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
ADAM CAROLLA

Beer Bottle Butterfly Chased Idea Sell Water
I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
ADAM CAROLLA

Guy Need Personality Pople Represent Want
I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
ADAM CAROLLA

Burn Calories Happen Masculine Trying World
I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
ADAM CAROLLA

Car Need Nose Picking Running Superstitious Unless
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
ADAM CAROLLA

Like Performing Radio Stuff Television Watching

If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’

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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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