They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
ADAM CAROLLAThis is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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