I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLAMy first car was a motorcycle.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
ADAM CAROLLA