I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA