Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
ADAM CAROLLAEveryone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
ADAM CAROLLAThat’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
ADAM CAROLLAYou’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
ADAM CAROLLAWhen I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
ADAM CAROLLAAs I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
ADAM CAROLLAWhen you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
ADAM CAROLLAAnd the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
ADAM CAROLLAI have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
ADAM CAROLLAShould women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
ADAM CAROLLAI would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
ADAM CAROLLAI know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
ADAM CAROLLAWell, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
ADAM CAROLLAYou have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t know anything about computers.
ADAM CAROLLA