My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
ADAM CAROLLADon’t do your best, do my best.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
ADAM CAROLLA






