If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
ADAM CAROLLAIt should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
ADAM CAROLLA