“. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.”

My motto is “more mystery, less history”.

Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.

I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.

I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .

I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”

When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

I’d never hurt another person.

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.

No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.

When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.

Be gracious to all men, but choose the best to be your friends.

For all the best teachers pride themselves on having a large number of pupils and think themselves worthy of a bigger audience.

My girl and my kid gets the best, always.

One of the best means for arousing the wish to work on yourself is to realize that you may die at any moment. But first you must learn how to keep it in mind.

Falling in love is the best thing that will ever happen to you. And not with someone else but with yourself.

It’s embarrassing when you try to overthrow the government and you wind up on the Best Seller’s List.

The best way to educate oneself is to become part of the revolution.

I think I really produce my best work in Iran.