black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.

Tim Allen

Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
TIM ALLEN

Comedy One Liner Ultimate
You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
TIM ALLEN

People Stress Tension Yourself
I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
TIM ALLEN

Greatness Learning Myself Student
Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
TIM ALLEN

Animal Borrow Man Tools
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
TIM ALLEN

Move Muscle See Sight Time Vehicle Yourself
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
TIM ALLEN

Drive Myself Quality Sound
When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
TIM ALLEN

Breathe Coward Ego Hard Prison Reality Strength Yourself
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
TIM ALLEN

Dangerous Floor Ground Himself Stick
All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
TIM ALLEN

Alone Crow Encouragement Man Substitute Support Thinking
Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
TIM ALLEN

Instruction Man Manufacturer Reality Togetherness
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
TIM ALLEN

Children Choice Marriage Prison Woman Work
In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
TIM ALLEN

Calm Challenge Experience Father Kind Time
I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
TIM ALLEN

Animal Growth Hunter Love Myself Skin Vegetable
I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
TIM ALLEN

Artist Creativity Design Graphics
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
TIM ALLEN

Day Himself Interest Love Man
Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
TIM ALLEN

Direction Flight Plane Reality

Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Tim Allen Quotes