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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.

Tim Allen

A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
TIM ALLEN

Blame Car Family Land Memories Myself Traffic
Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
TIM ALLEN

Hands Path Resistance Yourself
I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
TIM ALLEN

Cat Dog Man Myself Person Travel
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
TIM ALLEN

Day Himself Interest Love Man
If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, let’s be fair, that means you’ve got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you’ve done. It’s okay to say, “God, I wish I’d done this; yeah, but I did do that.” Then it kind of balances out.
TIM ALLEN

Balance Congrats Goodness Kind Mistake Work Yourself
I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
TIM ALLEN

Best Choice Combination Myself System Understand
Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
TIM ALLEN

Animal Beginning Humanity Time Yourself
In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
TIM ALLEN

Calm Challenge Experience Father Kind Time
All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
TIM ALLEN

Alone Crow Encouragement Man Substitute Support Thinking
But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
TIM ALLEN

Human Man Separate Vehicle
I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
TIM ALLEN

Consider Funny Phone Technology
Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
TIM ALLEN

Death Dog Food Leaving
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
TIM ALLEN

Children Choice Marriage Prison Woman Work
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
TIM ALLEN

Move Muscle See Sight Time Vehicle Yourself
I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
TIM ALLEN

Adult Age Children Myself Sadness
There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
TIM ALLEN

Beautiful Bride Feeling Greatness Herself

To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.

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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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