You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
BILL MAHERThe Drug War is an addiction, really.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
BILL MAHER -
What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
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People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
BILL MAHER -
America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
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Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
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Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
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Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
BILL MAHER -
If it weren’t for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
BILL MAHER






