All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCEAll are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCELottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
AMBROSE BIERCECorporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCEVote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
AMBROSE BIERCELitigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
AMBROSE BIERCEMoney. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
AMBROSE BIERCEHistory is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
AMBROSE BIERCEMarriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCEConservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
AMBROSE BIERCEDeath is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCEOptimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCEPAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
AMBROSE BIERCEOptimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCERiot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
AMBROSE BIERCEEducation, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
AMBROSE BIERCE