“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”

Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

Tell the children the truth.

It is not beyond our power to create a world in which all children have access to a good education.

If we can afford war, we can afford to support children going hungry.

I have changed nothing, my style of play is still that of a child.

Children teach us to see reality with a trusting and pure gaze.

We will expand the circle of women’s success by working to promote the taking of leave and leave for men raising children.

I was a child who went about in a world of colors. My friends, my companions, became women slowly; I became old in instants.

It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be.