Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCESweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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