Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCESweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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