Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCEFear has no brains; it is an idiot.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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