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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.

Ambrose Bierce

Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Death Money Person Praise Wealth
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Law Oneself Skills
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Coward Emergency Himself Legs Thinking
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Food Place Religion Service State
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Angry Best Regret Talk Yourself
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Ambition Death Desire Enemy Friendship
IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Fact Imagination Lying Poet
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Delusion Experience Observation Reflection Save
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Degree Independence Intellectual
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Alarm Difficult Himself Thinking
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Activity Diversity Equality Heart Human
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Marriage People Person Support
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Ambition Himself Name Patriot
MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Belief Body History Invention Original People True
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Advantage Affair Interest Principle Private
Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Breathe Conversation Listening Vocal
Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Age Head Himself See Thinking Wisdom
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Art Charm Measurement Nature Worm
Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Each Other Hands International Separate Thief Union
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Art Human Limitation Reason Thinking Understand
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Convincing Doubt Enemy Man Person
Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Beautiful Belief Optimism Ugly
Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Conscience Destitution Forget Gift God
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Advantage Election Good Stolen
Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Blessing Exception Leaving Money
Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Democracy Lamb Lunch Vote Wolf
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Add Fools Funny Himself Time

Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.

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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.

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