Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCEOpposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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