Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCESaint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCEEulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
AMBROSE BIERCEQuotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCEHistory is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
AMBROSE BIERCEDistance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
AMBROSE BIERCEEducation, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
AMBROSE BIERCEMoney. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
AMBROSE BIERCERUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
AMBROSE BIERCEConservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
AMBROSE BIERCESweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCELabor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
AMBROSE BIERCELottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
AMBROSE BIERCEResponsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
AMBROSE BIERCEULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
AMBROSE BIERCELAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCELogic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
AMBROSE BIERCE