An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
AMBROSE BIERCEMYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
AMBROSE BIERCE







