The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
AMBROSE BIERCEMYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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