Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCEThere are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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