A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
NORM MACDONALDLiberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
NORM MACDONALD