In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGANMany people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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I told you I was sick.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGAN