Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGANMany people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






