He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
NORM MACDONALDI got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
NORM MACDONALD






