Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
NORM MACDONALDIt is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALD