Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
STEVEN WRIGHTI just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
STEVEN WRIGHT