Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
STEVEN WRIGHTOn the other hand, you have different fingers.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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Clones are people two.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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Half the people you know are below average.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
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My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
STEVEN WRIGHT