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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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Criticize Himself Man Walk Way Yourself
I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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Drink Myself Price Try
Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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Business Happiness Person Surprise Try Yourself

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