I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
STEVE MARTINIt’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTIN