I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGANWe were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN