Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGANWe were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN