If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
STEVEN WRIGHTDepression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
STEVEN WRIGHT