When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHTDepression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
More Steven Wright Quotes
-
-
Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
STEVEN WRIGHT -
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
STEVEN WRIGHT -
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
STEVEN WRIGHT






