“How do you get off a non-stop flight?”

I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

Life is a fight for territory and once you stop fighting for what you want, what you don’t want will automatically take over.

Chance fights ever on the side of the prudent.

Nowadays you can go anywhere in the world in a few hours, and nothing is fabulous any more.

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting.

Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.

The soul takes flight to the world that is invisible but there arriving she is sure of bliss and forever dwells in paradise.

Yeah, I wasn’t chosen to be first. I was just chosen to command that flight. Circumstance put me in that particular role. That wasn’t planned by anyone.